Friday, June 12, 2009

Lakota Concept of the Family











The Lakota Family








These are excerts taken from a much larger paper I wrote for a class I took on the Family at the University of Lincoln.


The Lakota world had order and structure, decisions were made through consensus and because harmony was essential no one was ever forced to follow against their will. The social organizations were built around the intricate needs of the families and their relationships to each and were based upon long standing traditions developed over a long period of time. Although the individual was important the needs of the family was paramount. Individuals were always happiest when they were with their families—to be isolated was worse then death.

The family was a closely related group of siblings working together to assure the survival of their children and relatives. In their closeness lay their strength.

"…The Sioux conceived the family as an ever-living yet ever changing entity. As a body of individuals related through descent, it was enduring. Membership was a matter of consanguinity where each person reckoned his affiliation with respect to lineage of grandparents and parents, and with relatives—uncles and aunts, brothers, sisters, and cousins. While the individual might literally choose between belonging to his father's or mother's family, he was nevertheless, a member of both families.." (Hassrick 1964).

"The core of all kinship training" was the correct teaching of behavior and loyalty that was to be shown between brothers and sisters and boy and girl cousins. It was the responsibility of the boys to never "…embarrass his girl relatives but strive to only spare them and make them happy." They were taught, "Your sisters and cousins depend on you, and you must never fail them…" They were also responsible, as men, to train the sons of their female relatives in the ways of becoming warriors. In this way they continued to show honor to the "women of their generation who (they) had been taught to respect, protect, and aid." (Deloria 1988).

Girls were trained to always place their brothers and sisters and cousins above everyone else. A sister was the proper woman who carried her brother's war trophy, won in battle, in victory processions. (Deloria 1988). When a man dressed well—it was an indication that his sisters and female cousins loved him, because they were the ones who made his clothes (White Hat 1993). The women showed their male relatives honor by making them beautifully adorned clothing and making things for their children.

The respect shown between brother and sister was observed by complete face-to-face avoidance after they reached a certain age. They, however were expected to be completely loyal to each other and be prepared to help each other when necessary. Older siblings were responsible for watching their younger brothers and sisters. If a child did something that was considered inappropriate the older one was always admonished in its place. The older children were willingly to be scolded in this manner because of their obligation and love for the younger—knowing that this was the way younger children learned what was considered proper behavior without feeling discouraged. They then observed how their behavior caused problems for their older siblings and would behave accordingly from then on.

I was raised with these same values and behaviors and have incorporated them into the way I raised my children. I remember taking pains to iron my brothers' shirts and pants so they would be perfect. I was the one who ironed because I did the best job. They never left our house without looking like they were loved. They in turn did things that proved on a daily basis how much they cared for their girl relatives. We still flock around and try to outdo each other when they are around us. My sisters are my very dearest friends and their children are cherished and loved as well as their grandchildren. There are people who think the Lakota ways are found only in the past but this is totally incorrect. We still live these ways.

WORKS CITED

Deloria, Ella C. 1988. Waterlily. University of Nebraska Press: Lincoln, London.

Hassrick, Royal B. 1964.The Sioux: Life And Customs Of A Warrior Society University of Oklahoma Press: Norman and London

White Hat, Albert, Sr..1993. Lakota Iyapiun Wowapi Nahan Yawapi (Writing and Reading the Lakota Language), edited by Jael Kampfe. Unpublished Document. Available from author at Sinte Gleska University. Rosebud, SD.

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