Memorial Day
Memorial Day was always an important event in the lives of my family. When I was a little girl I remember the hours and hours the women of my family would spend making flowers out of crape-paper. Even as a small child I was involved. They taught us how to make the simplest flowers. Those simple little flowers were set aside and on the day when the adults left for Greengrass, were most of my family is buried, we kids would walk to the "little boy's grave". The little boy was my mother's older brother who died before she was born. He died of some childhood illness when he was still a baby and was buried on a high hill over looking the Moreau River. We would walk there stand around with our little flowers, sing some songs, say the Lord's Prayer and place our flowers on the little grave, walk back thinking about what would have happened if he would have lived.
As we grew older we then made the more complicated flowers, like the red American beauty roses. A family tradition was for the person who could make the best roses would make four that would be put together and those four would be placed on the grave of my grandfather, Douglas Daniel Dupris whose favorite whiskey was Four Roses. When you consider that the women who dedicated themselves to this activity were opposed to any type of drinking. I no my grandmother never allowed an ounce of alcohol to pass by her lips – but in this tradition she was one of the main supporters. I cannot tell you how it started but it is still something that is being done today by women who still do not drink. Why? Because it's a family tradition that has been passed on for three generations and will continue through the next 10.
Memorial Day is a time when I think about all of those who have gone on and are waiting for me and my generation to join them. I also think about the changes that have taken place from the time I would make flowers from crape-paper to the beautiful silk flowers I send home to be placed on our family's graves that lay together on a hill overlooking the Moureau River Valley. My great, great grandmother Cleans As She Comes lies near her great, great, great, great grandson Benton (Hoakie) In The Woods. This little cemetery is made up of family groups. Each year the adults will tell the younger ones who is who and how they are related. Stories are told and children understand why this activity is important to continue following.
I don't know what will happen tomorrow or next year – but there is no doubt in my mind that when the time comes for me to leave my family and join the others – this is where they will bring me. I will be placed here besides these same people that I love and remember. It gives me great peace to know this. The traditions that have been passed on from one generation to the next will continue because the family will know what to do and how to do this. So each Memorial Day will come and go just as our family does – but our family will continue and this of all things gives me a sense of understanding the idea of continuity. The continuing progress of a family that goes on despite everything that can happen.
There is a Lakota saying – it goes like this. "A Lakota will always belong to a family. They may lose their mother, father, brother, sisters, etc., but they will never lose their family". To understand this you have to understand one of the simplest things about us as a people. The, Lakota unlike many other tribes do not call themselves "the human beings." We refer to ourselves as the "Allies" we are made up of families – the most important thing in the life of a Lakota is their relationship with their family. In fact that was one of the assimilation goals of the federal government was to make a Lakota realize that they could actually view themselves as separate from their families. When this happened it was easier for assimilation to take place. But this has failed just like so many of their plans and on Memorial Day is a time to celebrate the fact that we remain as families.
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